The Inner Dialogue… the voice in our head… is the number one cause of relapse.
I never suggest people believe in anything… In fact I suggest they discard all their beliefs, hopes and plans, and start over… on their own, in and of themselves alone… this is what I mean when I say, “The self determined path”.
That said, there is no harm in saying something like, “I can’t believe I did that… Or, I believe it’s going to rain…”. This is simply language and communication…
We want to be rid of belief systems… because they aren’t ours to begin with.
I would like it if people believe that what I say here about “the thought that talks” is worth investigating… First of all we can realize that all this talking that goes on has its origins in the past… Second is its almost exclusively dealing with fear. I’d say it’s 100% due to fear but that always halts the possibility of further understanding which I never want to do.
There are a few consequences we can count on if we leave those thoughts from the past unexamined and choose not to deal with them:
- The first would be relapse… Our thoughts drive us crazy and we turn to the known remedy: We escape to drugs, sex, food, shopping, gambling… whatever our addictions might be
- The second is misery and maintenance… We can endure, finding and renewing daily the needed coping tools: Hoping, praying, meditating, following some new age remedy; doesn’t that sound like fun…
- Suicide: I can’t say if this works or not; if you try it, send some feedback on the result
- We make some headway on our own… We, like I did, figure out some way to address this condition by recognizing it for what it is: A thought; a thought born out of confusion, stuck in memory as a belief… seemingly with a life of its own
The voice has a life of it’s own?
Yes… Doesn’t it? Have you ever told it to shut up? Ever said, “Just stop, I don’t care, you’re driving me nuts, go away…”? Did it stop?
If you want to go to the store… do you go? If you don’t want to talk to that person any more… do you stop? Of course, we do what we want… we start doing things, we stop stop doing things… that’s us. So, is the voice in your head you?
So what would we do with someone who just wouldn’t leave us alone? We might get a restraining order… We might beat them up every time they came close… But this won’t work for the person in our head will it? Have we ever tried talking to it (him / her)…?
I have… and these are some of the questions I asked:
- What do you want?
- What are you?
- When were you born?
- Who are you talking to?
- What are you afraid of?
I’ve been dealing with the voice / thoughts for over ten years… trying things out… doing trial and error experiments… I found when I began to deal with the voice as if it were a real person, a fragment of the whole me, or Mind, I started getting the best results… You can call it progress if you like…
How can the Mind exist in fragments?
Tough question this… Here’s one way to look at it:
If we think of ourselves as magnets… Not philosophically but structurally
If you were to take a magnet shaped like a rod and cut a 5th off the length you’d have two magnets… Two whole working pole magnets
Sometimes an identity, or conditioning: Born in our past, brought forth out of confusion, always rooted in belief; is referred to as a fragment… the magnet analogy could help some to visualize it… to see how such a thing is possible
There is something else that comes in to play when we see “The voice in our head” as part of us… We begin to see we can’t “Get rid of it”… We can’t discard part of ourselves… We can only discard the belief: The thinking that gave rise to the condition