Sponsorship in General
I want to say a few words about sponsorship and the 12 step program. Originally you couldn't get into an AA meeting without a sponsor. This is where the whole concept of the AA sponsor came from. Now days we don't need anyone to open the doors to meetings for us. More like we're pushed, prodded and prosecuted in an effort to make us attend.But we hear all the time that we need a sponsor if we're going to work the steps properly. Is this true? What if we found ourselves in a situation where there was no way of connecting with someone in a 12 step program? Could we work the steps thoroughly and get sober? What is the system for ending an addiction? Let me paraphrase from memory: the AA program is a set of principles that when practiced enable the alcoholic (?) to live....something, and something, and anyway...change in a fundamental way that can lead to a vital spiritual experience. So we are endeavoring to practice certain principles and we are looking for a inner change sufficient to render us free from the insanity of addiction. Can I do this by myself?
What do I need to do this, to make this change through the application of principles? Wouldn't I need to know what a principle was? You can't hardly practice something if you don't even know what it is. If we don't understand principles we can start learning about principles here. So first I need to know what it is I'm trying to get better at. Was it clear from my mangled quote that we want to get better at something? Why else do we practice? What are we practicing? The application of principles. It means I'm going to intentionally operate according to a set of guidelines. This system for living is testing the principles. I'm doing the "principles before personalities" routine. This is often in direct opposition to the "nature" that we have created. The first place this procedure is called into practice is when dealing with "my" personality. In fact that's where it is always practiced. We might think that when we help some "personality type", we wouldn't ordinarily reach out to, that we're giving through the benefit of our new ground rules. When we opt to practice principles in this situation we're doing so, not in spite of their personality - but in spite of our own.
It is our personality, our nature, that we are looking to arrest and shape anew. When we practice principles we practice them on ourselves. We really don't apply them to every situation. We apply them to our reactions to every situation. So. do I need a sponsor? And what do I need a sponsor for? I'm in the meeting. I have a book. Maybe I even read it. Here's what I think: We need some help with the steps and we need mentors to talk with and learn from. Suppose I went up to someone and ask if they'd help me with the steps. I don't say anything about sponsorship, just - would you help me get through the steps? Suppose they said yes and we got started. Soon, after following along in the book, I have completed the 5th step. Do I have a sponsor? Have I practiced any principles? I know about the principles. I was honest enough to admit I was nuts. I was willing to do something different. I was open minded enough to - consider - that I might be better off if I asked for some help, and then I practiced one of the most important principles we can ever get a hold of: action.
The scenario I laid out was taken from my own experience with the step process. Do I have a sponsor? I say I do. We have to use terminology that fits the setting. The vernacular as it were. You could say I have lots of sponsors. Or you could call them Mentors. Seniors in Sobriety. Friends, teachers etc. My advice is don't get caught up in present day AA/Treatment Center jargon. Don't let anyone define what you need a sponsor for, or what a sponsor is. Or what the importance of having a sponsor might be. Just get help. Work the steps because that's where we learn our first lessons in practicing principles. Get lots of help from as many people as becomes necessary to get to the other side of the 5th step - as soon as possible. Call these people anything you like. If you find yourself around someone who starts saying silly stuff or tries to get you to do something that isn't in the book (?) you can stop talking to them.
