Understanding and working with Expectations

Why would you want to do this? Well it's the key to creating the world you live in. We live in the macro environment where all the thoughts of all the people become the physical thing we call society. The people with the greatest expectation quotient have the greater effect on the overall picture. They get the most cooperation from others, if that's what they expect. They get the most money, if that's what they expect and so on. Why not say, they get the most of something, if that's what they want? Because that's not how it works. At the time of this writing there are some twenty five or so pages written for the site. This concept of the expectation quotient is equal in importance to any of the other concepts and principles we've been through. I've been thinking about writing this page since I started on the site and this morning I decided I couldn't put it off any longer. The reason it's taken me till today to get started is it's probably the hardest to master. But if it's true that,"Life doesn't give us what we deserve, it gives us what we expect", and I'm convinced it is, then it may be the most important. It's certainly the most important as far as our circumstances are concerned.

Expectation and confidence sound pretty much the same. I am confident that everything will work out. I expect everything will work out. Close enough? But you can have all the confidence it takes to perform in a rock concert and end up with nothing. Why? If life gives us what we expect, what happened? I've heard teachers and people in charge of children say as they leave the room, "I expect you all to behave yourselves until I get back". If that was true why would they say it? People lie. We've come to expect it. So we get taught our expectations. We get taught everything else so why would this be any different? I know it gets repetitive. Stop whenever you get it. At least it's not a thousand word best selling motivation anthem. Sometimes I think those guys just write until it looks book size. Did you know that Deepak Chopra has written over 70 million books on the same topic? Not that many? Well its a lot. It's true that it's hard to get better at something without some system to follow. This is true with everything, without exception. All anyone can do is present the system. If its so complicated that no one can grasp it, what good is it?

I've tried to find a good system for increasing expectations. I've really looked. The top systems for building confidence go like this. So you want more confidence? Start with something that has a high probably of you being successful at. Pursue it and make it work. You'll have more confidence when you've had that feeling of success. It may take a week for them to say it or an entire book to explain it over and over but they all say the same thing. My response to it all is, no kidding. I agree but I don't think it's worth a couple hundred dollars to have somebody tell me. I do know of something else that causes low expectations and a whole list of other undesirable habits. But first here is an example of a realistic self image and the expectation quotient associated with it.

Remember Ross Perot? This guy had this concept down really well. That doesn't mean he tried to perfect it, or was even aware of it, but he had it nailed. In case you don't remember Ross he was a presidential candidate a few years back who was telling the truth, the facts about the way the country was being run into the ditch by people who don't care about anybody but themselves. Those people, being more powerful than Ross, drove him into obscurity and made him an image of ridicule using their media war machines. All the stuff he was saying was right on the money and now we are suffering, the current financial woes, because instead of recognizing the truth when we heard it we chose to listen to lies that promised us what we wanted: that we would be taken care of; like little children. End of Political Rant

Ross suffered many set backs in becoming a billionaire. I know this because I watched him during an interview with Charlie Rose. When ask if he ever felt like throwing in the towel he said it never entered his mind. He never took it personal or felt like a failure, got depressed, felt guilty or any thing else. He just said,"OK, that didn't work, and moved on to another idea". He expected that if he kept at it everything would work out and it did. This is a great example of the principle. Yes it's a principle, because it's causative. It causes our conditions. Mentally and physically.

The problem Ross doesn't have is an irrational image of people. He doesn't judge himself by other peoples opinion of him. He doesn't let it dampen his spirits. At least not for long. No successful person does. Most of the ones I've met, and I made it a point to hang around the people that were getting stuff, didn't care a lot about what people thought of them. They may like you. They just aren't hooked on your opinion of them. Expectations create conditions.

There will always be greedy people. Who would disagree? Is some one always going to ruin things because that's just the way some people are? Or because that's what most people expect? One of two things will come of this. We change our collective expectations and everything changes. Or we keep our low opinion of each other and greedy people destroy the planet. People are greedy for the same reason we might develop poor expectations. First, they don't understand what life is. Second they are mistaken about what people are in relation to life. This idea, for them as for us, is all that has to change. On occasion you'll run into people who have a really good outlook. They have a nice disposition and they seem to be comfortable and they go along through the crap that comes from society and people and they just keep going, seemingly undeterred. I've met them and ask what their ideas about life were and they didn't have an answer accept they always had the feeling that everything was going to be OK. No reason. No religion. Nothing special. Just that things would be OK. If you find a person like this, keep it.

So how do we increase our expectation quotient? The same way that we do the rest of this program. I know it's a great big let down. But what kind of solution would it be if it wasn't universal. We get rid our ideas about life and people. Replace them with facts. This will also take care of another item mentioned in the 12 step program. The issue concerning unrealistic expectations. When we have a realistic picture of life and people we'll stop being handicapped with unrealistic expectations. Here's a common problem, "I'll expect to get a space ship and a crew and travel the universe", will it happen? Why doesn't it happen? Because we can't generate real expectations of something we don't consider real. It must be something that we consider a real possibility. It may be as real a possibility to heal a disease like cancer as it is to heal a paper cut or ignore minor pain. Who believes that? In order to get the system to work we have to get the system into a format that we consider realistic. As a demonstration, listen to this audio on the placebo effect. Being convinced that something is real is a key to increasing the expectation quotient. If you don't think that a million dollars is easy to come by you won't be able to expect a bunch of money coming your way. This is the reason some of us have such a hard time getting money. Some believe that they will always have enough to get by. So they always get by with little extra. Find out what you think is a real possibility. For example I've shared with you that I have a tendency to expect bad things to happen. It's ingrained in my brain. To my brain, attracting a thousand people to this site that understand what I'm saying, have the ability to put the concepts to work, benefit from it and pass it on is not good. Probably not going to happen. I'm dreaming. In this case I examine the facts: there are a billion people on line (or at least some mind boggling number), out of that number is it realistic to think that a thousand might get it? I found something that I could accept as reasonable. Now I have a reasonable expectation. Now it can work. If you can't come up with a reasonable/believable possibility just drop it. Start looking for something you can believe.

Next continue to meditate and find out what it is you're thinking. If meditation does nothing else it is good for finding out what's going on in your head. When you identify an expectation, write it down. You will discover what your present expectations are and knowledge, as they say, is the magic fairy princess. You've never heard that? Well it's true.

Next, test your expectations. Take the principles you've begun practicing and check your expectations concerning them. Do you expect that being honest with yourself, being willing to leave the fantasy world of other peoples stories behind and dwell in the world of facts, will improve your condition? Do you expect it will lead you into a better situation-a more useful, peaceful, nicer for everyone place? It's up to you to take the concept and, through practice, turn it into a reality? On a scale of one to ten write what your current expectations are. Do it again in a month. Everything we decide to do needs to prove itself. We should never accept anything on faith.

Outstanding leaders go out of their way to boost the self-esteem of their personnel. If people believe in themselves, it's amazing what they can accomplish. ~ Sam Walton

from Eileen Caddy's book Opening Doors Within
Friday 31st July 2009

Your positive, creative, loving thoughts hold a tremendous power, far greater than you realize, for thoughts are power. Therefore banish all negative thoughts. Always look on the bright side of life, for the more joy and love you radiate, the more joy and love will you draw to you. Love all those souls around you, for you will find everyone responds to love in the end. Children and animals respond immediately because they have no barriers to pull down. They feel that love flow instinctively, for they are not suspicious of wrong motives and intentions, but simply accept and respond to love and return it joyously; whereas so often adults are suspicious and imagine that there must be some ulterior motive. Never allow suspicion of your motives to close your heart towards anyone. When those motives are pure and genuine let the love flow in full force until all barriers have been knocked down. Love is the key to life. You hold that key within you.

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