"Came to believe"

Being restored to sanity

At some point in every journey we'll be faced with the decision of what we are going to believe. In the 12 step programs there is a little red book, that gets passed around, titled "Came to Believe". When I was going along following directions I was given this book to read. It was at this point I knew I would have some differences of opinion with most of the people in the program. A difference of opinion, with "most people", wasn't anything new for me. But it was a little unsettling to think that I was faced with the possibility that my difference of opinion could stand in the way of my eventual freedom from addiction.

The deal was I didn't believe what was in the book. In fact I went through some turmoil over the whole christian flavor of the book. I had an inability to understand why people were believing what they believed. I'd read the bible. I didn't have a problem with the bible, as a bunch of stories, accept in not liking the god telling people what to do and why thing. As far as I know, god never told anybody anything. As far as I knew, for sure, when god was talking to you society was apt to hook you up with a doctor. At the same time, if you're a christian, god is telling people all kinds of stuff and laying down guidelines for sacrifices and telling people to kill kids and cows and entire cultures. So what I believe about the bible is that it's a bunch of writings, by a bunch of people. Further than that I didn't have any idea as to what it meant or what it had to do with me, or any body else living on the planet today.

Belief

Belief is thought at rest..... Larry Harvey

What I want to talk about here is (1) belief and (2) doesn't exist. Belief is a very powerful thing. It is part of the whole expectation principle and the extent of its affect on our lives and life in general should not be underestimated. It may be the single most important aspect a human being can come to understand. While I don't expect the entire world to change with this writing, a full understanding of this principle can change our own world overnight. We individuals, who would like our lives to be different can make great headway by looking closely at belief - as intently as if we were studying something under a microscope. Understanding belief is a key component of change. With this one item clearly understood we can completely change the way we think and feel. It's something that we'll all want to delve into immediately and examine and study in depth over time.

Doesn't exist

Doesn't exist is nothing but trouble. The brain can not deal with doesn't exist. The brain is fine with don't know. Lets say you read the story of Jonah and the great big fish. You ask somebody, like your parents or teachers, what it means. If they say they don't know, then your brain is going to be OK. It is now part of the collective "not sures" and it actually likes this because, lets find out, is fun for the brain. If you're told, it was gods way of dealing with his beloved creation, your brain will start to sizzle. The brain is, first and foremost, part of a sensory mechanism. If you present it with a ball it will first say, circle. Then maybe, colored circle. That's how it analyzed the eye data. If the body goes to examine the ball and some distance is covered it's, colored circle over there. Once the hands get involved it becomes ball. It may also notice that this circle has shadows that it will, from now on, associate all this sensory data with ball. You see the way the brain got from don't know to know something? This is the beginning of comprehending all the laws that are natural in the three dimensional world. Throw heavy ball, short arc, much force needed, gravity means - and so on. At this point we have a very happy brain. This brain can face droughts and wild beasts. Even something as scary as a baby being born. It will do OK. Introduce doesn't exist: serious trouble.

No where in the real world do gods have fish swallow people as life lessons. Fish big enough to swallow people do it for one reason. To the great big fish, we're food. Angels don't keep lions from eating people. Now if you tell fairy tales for good reasons, like making a moral point, that's different. But if anyone is confused enough to tell children that the unreal is real they are endangering the life of the child. Santa Claus is pushing it. Kris Kringle started out as a real story figure. Santa Claus was developed for reasons I can't comprehend. Maybe I should find out. Maybe not. We all have, in our brains, a certain amount of doesn't exist stories. This is what makes us seek escape. Maybe escape isn't the right word. Maybe the word is peace. If we are seeking peace of mind, it can only be that the mind is not at peace. What would cause this? The mind is at peace as long as it only has to deal with what is real - or, don't know. Solutions to real problems are found in the real world. The problems exist. The answers exist. It's fun. Solutions to problems that come up from doesn't exist get solved one of two ways. Either we are lucky enough to run into smart people who tell us the truth. That doesn't exist, doesn't exist - and we believe them. Or we are given a doesn't exist solution. Obviously this is going to further compound the problem and deepen the non workable condition in the brain. If the brain does not escape this conundrum it will not function well. It can't. The brain always looks for answers. If there are no answers, no reasonable solution, it will shut off. It will turn part of itself off in order to accept, or not deal with, the unreal. It has to. If that part was working it would spend all it's "conscious" time in turmoil. It would drive us so crazy we would not be able to function. So it consciously shuts off. But, that's just the conscious brain. What about the subconscious? Well - it just keeps sizzling. On top of that, once this shutting down occurs we are not functioning at 100% capacity, we are mal-functioning. We become, as far as the real world is concerned, dysfunctional. We have left the actual world and exist in a dream. Not our own. Not in healthy imagination, but in stories. We dwell in a land where doesn't exist has become real. Imagination is warped. Growth potential is limited. Stress, anxiety, illness and addictions start to manifest. The system is no longer balanced. It becomes, at some point, to some extent, chemically altered. It is dis-eased.

Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you?
Walt Whitman

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing.
Louisa May Alcott

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
Carl Jung

Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.
Ralph Nader

He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.
Thomas Fuller

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.
William James

All the ideas we came here with, here being right this instant, are old ideas. Some of the old ideas started a chemical chain of events that led to great suffering. If we hang on to "those" old ideas. If those ideas say that stuff that doesn't exist - exists - full recovery is not possible. At best we will learn to tolerate things. I don't want to just manage and tolerate things. I was doing that six months into the journey. I want to be free of insane thinking. I see it like this" real/unreal-sane/insane. If we believe in things that don't exist we're not sane. If we can "come to believe this" we have the opportunity to do anything we want: completely free and safe from relapse. All relapse takes place in a make believe world. A world where relapse is a plausible solution. Relapse is insane and only viable as a solution to a "doesn't exist" problem. Lots of people will state that relapse is part of recovery. Relapse, in the real world, is part of being insane. What we are in the process of achieving is the recovery of sanity. Lets be clear about what we're going to do. What is this all about? Are we here to quit drinking are kicking our kids teeth in? Every time we stop doing anything we have stopped. We've quit. The only meaningful, sane, reason for this exercise is to restore our sanity. We relapse because we are not sane. We will come to see that the "insurmountable event" that leads to relapse is in no way significant. They are referred to as relapse triggers. Sane people don't have relapse triggers. People that know they are allergic to peanuts do not in times of great emotional stress grab a snickers. There are no situations that cause us to want to relapse. This is another "doesn't exist". That's why we can't deal with it. To quote from the book, "Many of us tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely". That sentence transcends the program of A.A. Like principles, it is infallible. It's written in the context of alcoholic drinking. It's written concerning controlled use of alcohol by people who have developed an allergy to alcohol. It says the idea that we can drink like non alcoholic people has to be given up. But it reaches greater depths than that. It is the key to total recovery from insanity. For all peoples problems regardless of the particular manifestation. It covers the spectrum from murderous rage to self doubt. All troubles will fall away when we rid ourselves of any ideas based on "doesn't exist". For a fun little jaunt into the world of delusion visit this site www.godisimaginary.com/video