"Addiction or Freedom" The addiction-trauma connection
Here is a step by step guide to understanding and dealing with any addiction. Addictions and compulsions, destructive behaviors, pain, suffering, unwanted habits and obsessive behaviors all are reactions to trauma.Understanding the cause of this trauma is the key to ending an addiction. Recovering from addictions means dealing with pain, frustration, confusion and loneliness. There is nothing pretty about this. Dealing with emotions and mental habits is tough work. But it has to be done and in the end it's well worth it.
How The Addiction Thing Works
I've always been curious as to "what makes things work". The more I understand the inner workings of a thing the more comfortable I am with it. I've looked closely at addiction and recovery. I looked at "Getting Free From My Addiction" like it was my job. I wanted to know how it worked so I could be really good at it. Aside from having a natural curiosity I wanted to be as helpful to others as possible and that meant I had to study the subject.The overall human psychology and behavior stuff I'd been digging into for many years - but it hadn't got me out of the addiction mess. When I finally got clean, the addiction recovery idea was brand new so I went at it, like I said before, as if it were my job. Here you can read everything I've looked at, analyzed and come up with so far. I've looked for the reasons why some people are able to recover from addictions while most go on to the bitter end without any sustained success. The following assessments are based on my observations. The criteria I use for anything I pass along as a solution is: Is it real? Does it work? This solution provides everything needed for dealing with ourselves and others.
According to The Addictive Behaviors, by W.R. Miller, an individual can become addicted, dependent, or compulsively obsessed with any activity, substance, object, or behavior that gives him/her pleasure.
Why use a 12 step format?
I knew I'd need structured exercises so people could participate in their own recovery. In order to stay addiction free we first need to get passed the major road blocks. For this initial, getting started, phase I use the '12 steps' as the structure for the exercises. My doubts were that many non-alcoholics would feel that the site was not addressing their particular problems. That people would glance at the heading and say, that's for alcoholics, or they might say, I can't stop worrying (which is a serious addiction) and I want to stop, but this is for drug addicts. Please accept that an addiction is an addiction - period. The other issue was that, as a rule alcoholics and drug addicts aren't cruising the web looking for self help. More likely they're either doing their best to avoid anyone and anything that looks as though it might be connected to treatment, or they want someone or something to cure them. We live in a world of pills. Drugs are big business. There was a time when alcoholism and drug addiction was looked at as a moral failing or a genetic condition. With those theories you either needed "Saving" or you were simply doomed through your DNA. I suggest we set those theories aside for the moment. They are of no help to us and can really get in our way. What I want for addicts is that they gain complete control over their conditions. I want people to be able to say, "I was an addict but now I'm not". I can take any person in the world and get them addicted to heroin. If I took the drug away some of these people - after a period without the drug - would never take it again. Some would always want some more and look for it until they got it. Both were addicted, are both addicts?Are people who once practiced anorexic eating habits addicts? I don't consider myself an addict any longer - why would I? Who decides what I call myself? We might want to drop the labels and old ideas for now and concentrate on getting free of our addictions without any rhetoric what so ever. There's a difference between being alcoholic and being an alcoholic. If my body does things with alcohol that causes me to crave more then I could say my body is alcoholic. I could say my body has an allergic reaction to alcohol. Is my body me? Let's keep this in mind as we go along. I use the 12 step format because it's great for peeling off that first layer of "Not real" and "Not working". What I really liked about AA, right from the start, was they talked about sanity. The idea of being restored to sanity...just felt right. There is no "sanity in continuing an addiction". I really wanted to be sane. I felt this held the key to my freedom. I want people to add their ideas and experiences to this site. Visit the forum and make this site better.
Principles
The principles associated with the program of Alcoholics Anonymous are not a creation of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you continue you'll find how universal principles, if practiced, will lead to a solution: no matter what problems we're dealing with. This applies as well to those of you who don't have drug and alcohol problems. The process that follows uncovers the nature of the brain. Once this nature is revealed we can begin the process of changing it. Anyone who wants to move toward a self-determined path has got to understand the way the brain works - really. The more we understand about ourselves the better our quality of life can be. We want to take complete control of ourselves, our thoughts and behaviors. This is absolutely, 100% possible.I've seen hundreds of people come through the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Some started to practice the steps. I've seen a few, so far, stay sober. Most seemed to do reasonably well for a time only to slip back to the things that brought them in. They drift back to the, or never change, old patterns of thinking which, sooner or later, lead once more to active addiction. A popular saying in the twelve step community is, "if nothing changes: nothing changes". On the whole most of the new faces are reasonably motivated. This motivation is a result of suffering. If they come through the doors, some what willingly, its because the suffering has become too great. Most are forced into the room by society. There are no volunteers. Most likely the humiliation of winding up in these places will add to their suffering. Pain and fear will increase with the loss, or threatened loss, of some physical thing or situation. This includes the accompanying self image. Whatever the case, it is this suffering that produces an inner environment where change can take place. Change will, at this point, take place. This doesn't mean that progress towards a healthier happier life is being made. It is simply what happens to people under these painful circumstances. If one is to really put an end to the cycle of addiction, intentional consciously directed, change is necessary. The three principles, regarded in A.A., as essential to this type of change process are Honesty, Open Mindedness and Willingness. These principles will be practiced, to some degree, by the person who finds themselves in the right amount of pain. The question is will they be practiced enough.